Maomao, 5 years old, kindergarten Manager, high forehead, dark eyes, a look at the smart way. But recent mother worried maomao, because focusing, like on the \"lonely\", often in a State of one of the first man, mother see him sitting alone on the floor several times don\'t know what to play with, is so concerned to ask him, maomao has said \"not doing\".
Mothers really do not understand, usually so loves plush, plush has something not tell mother? And focusing, so small \"being alone\", and do the normal, will not be \"autistic\", right?
Normal to be alone
Now, with \"friends\" family appear, the adults want to become intimate friends of children from the heart. Yet many parents have found that children still have their own \"little secret\", like plush is like 5 years old, adults cannot care for them, he still retained a \"plots\", only for your own enjoyment. No matter how adults to GoldMine, he will be very strategic and a little distance away from adults.
This kind of \"solitude\" is in fact very normal, because \"being alone\" is by no means patent by adults, children also need to enjoy \"a person\" of time and space. Also, emotional development, as the children grow older, emotions will get rich, \"loneliness\" is a child about 5 years old an emotion with outstanding performance.
Which \"Autism\" (also known as \"autistic\") are two completely different things. \"Autism\" was a serious long-term obstacles to development, usually onset before the age of 3, there are three main points:
1, the social disorder: unwilling to communicate with people, not or it is difficult to establish normal social relationships with others;
2, language barriers: no language or only a few languages, or even just parroting what to imitation, speech is seriously lagging behind;
3, emotion and behavior: on articles has odd interests and play (such as rotating something for a long time), repeating certain actions for a long time, inexplicable expressions (cry, and smile, to make), is sensitive to certain sounds, pictures, ads, do not know the fear and danger, limb development of fine motor and gross motor may not balance.
And \"alone syndrome\" often with with cognitive and learning Shang of obstacles, such as: because they of world more is by one by one of independent section by composition, so they cannot from life experience in the learning things of correlation, or said cannot understand things behind formation of causes and the each other of relationship, cannot understand life experience behind of meaning; often too focused things of does not important part and ignored has important part; focused force General comparison difference, is difficult to followed training who for training, often will tellin \' to playing or see around of things; thinking way more simple, only understand specific of concept, more difficult understand abstract of concept or metaphor, also more difficult comprehensive different of concept; in same time paragraph within is difficult to has Organization and the has order to do different of things; more difficult will has master of concept application to different of situation in the.
Positive solitude
I have always been fond of children, child like me. Have a summer home of the year, the neighbor of the two children come to me to play, a 7 year old, on just the a grade, and the other only 4 years old. I will they with to near Middle School of Stadium playing, results is found two a children very does not as: 7 aged of children work follow, skipping is jump of, ball is took of; and that 4 aged of children is like a small monkey, a will will skipping tied in parallel bars leg taken \"cradle\", a will took up ball Dang \"insurance age\", a will and will ball as \"barbed wire\", learn with PLA Uncle creeping forward, playing was rushed off! Later even 7 years old children imitated his playing to sth
For this two a children of family I is very familiar of, 7 aged children of parents very \"heart\", on children care was very detailed, and to children arrangements has many of additional development content, from children 4 aged does not to on began learn piano, and learn calligraphy, this children rare has \"alone\" of time; and that 4 aged of children, parents are comparison \"careless\", and children more large, and parents more careless, many when are let children a people playing, at most in necessary of when help Shang a to, children often in \"alone\" among. But from the story above, do you prefer their children like the 4 year old \"kid\"-the independent and creative!
Yes, this is the \"alone\" initiative:
1, \"being alone\" conducive to the development of independence
In the consultation, encountered many parents complain their children: \"there\'s not a moment to leave, left the child does not do its homework, thought had deserted. \"However, after further conversation and analysis, I always found that:\" the child \"is really missing\" alone \"time, and was brought up on the rare\" lonely \". Born, caring adults gather around, my father, mother, Grandpa and Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandma, all trying to give him the best care, his the slightest facial expression, a cry will not escape from the big people\'s vision. Whether at home, was also outside, people always turn his life \"Centre\", does not make him feel alone and lonely in the least, always someone make him play. And he encountered any difficulties as long as he shouted, most of the time for someone to help him sth In this way, \"the child\" always like playing to adults accompany, \"the child\" total to adults for help dressing, eating, \"the child\" is always \"peidu\" it.
Visible, not alone children also lacks independence, not only lack of their independence, lack of independence of thinking. The so-called \"independent society in independent\", if there is no \"independent\" exercise, how can experience \"independent\" fun, how could the acquisition of \"independence\" of capacity?
\"Solitude\" is a child can be independent of time and space condition,
2, \"solitude\" in the creative
What is \"created\"? Simply put, is in a unique way to solve the problem. Visible if you want to have created, it must meet the following two conditions:
First, you must have a \"problem\" existed. \"Problem\" is to stimulate thinking and to stimulate the creation of the source. Newton was discovered \"law of universal gravitation\", because he wanted to know \"why Apple is always to fall\"; Einstein proposed the \"relativity\", because such a problem plaguing him--\"do high speed moving object to follow the Newton? \"Sth\" problem \"is a conflict, is a challenge to the existing knowledge and capacity, cannot be solved by the original experience\" dilemma \". Conflicting challenges, challenges can stimulate the desire of creating.
Second, there must be \"unique\". The so-called \"unique\" is \"different\", is a novel, beyond the traditional, surprisingly. That is, in time to solve the problem, from the special perspective of thinking, can use special methods to solve. \"Unique\" can make ordinary things become strange, does not resolve the problem immediately. Such as, front story in that 4 aged of children is can \"playing was rushed off\", is because he can with \"unique\" of way to playing--\"a will will skipping tied in parallel bars leg taken \' cradle \', a will took up ball Dang \' insurance age \', a will and will ball as \' barbed wire \', learn with PLA Uncle creeping forward\", he gives has skipping, and ball, new of, and different of significance.
Because of \"creative\" need \"issues\" and \"unique\", so more emphasis on \"being alone\". Because only when the children alone when may only have \"problems\". For example, he wanted to get a small book on the table, but he is not high enough; he wants to go to catch next to the toy, but his hand long enough for sth Imagine if the adults are all around, all help to do his wish can also cause problems? Most of \"my child, do want this to, mother to you! \"There is no\" problem \"and of course will lose its premise of creating.
And the \"problem\", we will certainly do you have created? Nor, of course, you also need the \"uniqueness\". For children, so small, how can the unique is, of course, in the absence of limit and guidance could only show the \"unique\". Otherwise, earlier scheduled an answer to a child, child\'s problem solved, but also what the \"unique\"? The 7-year-old was in the previous story \"do follow\" thinking--\"rope skipping is jumping, the ball is shot\" is to a large extent because the adults are too careful around, and even how to play carefully, how to provide good, that the child no chance \"unique\". Instead, the 4 year old child, exactly is \"solitude\" are used, there is at least sufficient \"thinking of being alone\", also there are too many possible unique opportunity.
Enjoy \"being alone\"
This is the \"solitude\" meaning, \"being alone\" is actually child a comfortable time, space, is the moment to the minds of children free, \"solitude of children are not alone\". Psychologists have a to help people grow course called \"SOLO\", is to place the parties in an \"alone\" in the situation, no one talking to him, and no one to communicate with him, let him stay on its own. Results found that \"SOLO\" party after thinking more clearly and more agile, and often unexpected SOLO reflection and experience, to the parties a great deal of inspiration in life.
In fact, a small child has \"the solitude\" needs and abilities, such as study: small baby would have to play in the 1, and listening to music a lot of fun to be alone. But due to the limited activity of young infants, so \"being alone\" performance is not obvious, and with age, increasing freedom of the children, may voluntarily select \"leave the crowd, one person stay\" when was noticed by people in particular. Therefore, \"being alone\" is not the children are not normal, but people are not used. But more on the children\'s an adult, not used to the children of \"solitude\", tried to let the child 100% open your heart to himself, tried to occupy the children of time and space to be alone. Therefore, here, would suggest parents not only cherish the child\'s \"lonely\", and also to parent SOLO on a regular basis, giving themselves a measured distance with the children, a space of thinking and experience for yourself.
Remember: If your original is much better with the children, so please believe that child, if he needs will certainly take the initiative to ask for help. You know, parents and children, however good, there are two people, so there is \"distance\" is inevitable, but also natural. Parents can come off the high horse, in the effort to make friends with the children in your life is enough, not to insist on and children \"close\", not to place undue demands on themselves to close to the child. So you will feel relaxed, children will feel, after all, the correct distance is needed. In other words, is to leave children a \"Privacy\" of space, also to yourself a \"no excessive concern about\" children to wake up.
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