Praise to behavior in young children

\"You are great! ”

\"Very smart of you! ”

\"You can have their own clean up toys today, really good. ”

\"You grow up, can do a lot of things, my mother really happy for you. ”

Parents of friends, these words of praise which do you think is appropriate? What is inappropriate? Why?

Praise has been as a means of shaping effective education of the children\'s good behavior and is widely used, but now also increasingly found in educational practice due to the consequences of recognition of unfit--

1. easy for young children form a pleasant personality.

Adults (including parents and teachers) is paramount in the minds of young children \"authority\", their evaluation and attitudes of young children will be children of self-evaluation as major even is the only standard. In order to get self esteem needs met, raising the level of self esteem, likes and dislikes of some sensitive children will pay attention to adult standards, and to adjust their behaviour, to please adults.

If this situation persists, such children easy formation of pleasant personality. Due to the long \"others eyes\", such children tend to lack independent ability to determine right and wrong, their mood highly vulnerable when they grow up around other people\'s attitudes and evaluation of, and often unhappy life, not confidence.

2. easy formation combative young children good strong, striving for perfection of personality.

We can easily find those of young children, they formed a combative due to be praised too much good strong, the pursuit of perfect personality: they should strive to \"first\", does not allow ourselves to fail, do not allow others more than yourself, don\'t allow themselves to have inferior to another area, not anybody else\'s praise. Such child care bear frustration, excessive pursuit of perfection, and life is not perfect, so their life in the future will not be so easily and so happy.

3. reduce anti-frustration ability and level of self esteem in young children.

As when a person due to children\'s success and recognition of their clever, children will secretly speculate: when I failed when I was dumb. So every time failed when child care becomes depressed and self-worth reducing. They also can become very vulnerable, interest and persistence and the ability to resist setback will decline significantly. Some people think that recognition would enhance children\'s confidence, in fact, if recognition of improper use, it will indirectly reduce children\'s sense of self-worth.

Compared with adults, in the growth of young children in particular need to praise and affirmation from others, it is beyond doubt. But how to both strengthen children\'s good behavior and avoid the disadvantages of praise? I believe that, in addition to the usual we emphasize recognition of content to specific, outside the recognition to be moderate, varies from person to also make parents aware of the following two aspects:

1. the process of recognition for the child care Act, rather than personal attributes and behavior results. Psychological research on children\'s praise into three ways:

A. or personality traits as a whole against children (personal orientation), such as \"you are great! \"\" Very smart of you! \"And so on.

B. efforts for children in the process of completing the task and the application of policy (process oriented), such as \"you really hard! \"\" You use this method very well! \"And so on.

C. for children, the results (results-oriented), such as \"you did the right thing! \"\" You are really good! \"And so on.

Study results showed that, the second is the way of process orientation commended best, result oriented effects following behind, and personal orientation effect the worst.

Why not? Children who are personal orientation commended in the face of new tasks, would choose to make their successful task and avoid the selection may fail, but would make their task learn some new things, only one objective: in order to preserve his smart impression in the eyes of others. And once they fail, will think they are stupid, it is useless. Most of them would be to give up efforts to wear out.

And process orientation commended children tend to be committed to their own efforts, try different strategies and methods to complete a task. They are more focused on improving their skills, not concerned about his image in the minds of others.

When they are in trouble, they will show a better adherence. Personal orientation and result orientation commended for child care leave continues to develop space, easy to make child care required. We therefore advocate a process orientation commended, that process of the children concerned to complete the task, sure they paid for the success of efforts and try various strategies of behavior.

2. praise to avoid comparisons between child care and child care.

When the children\'s parents criticised, often tend to take child care and child care to compare desired \"prodsb. into action\" purposes. However, each child has its own unique way of development and, a simple comparison of child care and child care is not only difficult to play the purpose of correcting children\'s bad behavior, also tends to make children\'s loss of confidence, even resistance.

At the time of recognition of child care, parents can easily inadvertently lead children\'s eyes to others: \"you\'re much smarter than neighbors. \"\" First you run today, the next time you want to keep! \"Old and not know that child care once formed the eye when staring at the habits of others, and others, he will not live at ease and relaxed, increased many invisible pressures and troubles.

Let the children themselves and their ratio, let him have a sense of competence and self-efficacy, the main objective of this is in recognition of. \"You can feed himself today, really good! \"\" Recently painting really progress, further efforts will progress faster! \"This is the proper recognition.

Appropriate recognition of results is not with the child\'s personality and behavior \"coupled\", instead of looking at children\'s course of action. Therefore children received a recognition letter

Income, would not feel the pressure, but feel there is more space to develop (or harder to continue to explore effective methods and strategies to solve the problem).

Therefore, appropriate recognition of the special role is to promote sustainable development in young children. Regular was suitable recognition of child care will not be complacent because of a small victory, nor pity because of a failure. Education growing up children with the appropriate recognition method to properly face the failures and errors, to recognize failures and errors are normal, in frustration before they become confident, strong, will give a positive response.